This race

Anxiety is stepping up each passing day,

Time is echoing the words of haste,

Procrastination has clenched my way,

I'm living obliviously in my own world.

I have long forgone my reformatory ideas,

Which have now transformed into albatross,

I dont relax anymore but galumph around,

Vanity of vanities has vacuumed my past.

Its worse to witness this slow process,

Its worse to degrade consciously,

I am blinded by illusionary white fog,

And losing courage to forward bravely.

Confounding threads failing in connections,

Are running through my vertebral column,

The disease is spreading in all directions,

Making me feel worthless and helpless.

I still dont understand my casualness,

And the withdrawal of my own limits,

'What next?' I really can't answer,

Particle by particle I am heating up.

I'm just unable to put things together,

My 3 lives are slipping from my hand,

Stressing me more are the obligations,

And unanswered queries about my plans.

I just wish I get hold of my lives,

And bring them back on track soon,

I just wish that things turn good,

Settle objects and subjects it should.

Without killing any of my facets,

I hope I do this all on my own,

I will contain all rough motions,

And train them to be straight and smooth.

Ropes to pull the chariots are thick,

But its the Hobson's choice offered,

I have to do it or let die my spirit,

Locking up my frustrations I have to steer it.

Hope to drive well on the unknown roads,

Hope to keep away from dirt at chase,

Hope to value all things along the way,

Hope to reach clean at the end of this race.

Understanding TIME to enjoy life

I don’t understand why people restrict themselves to time limits. Students prepare up timetables almost everyday. 6 am – wakeup, then school, after school, 4-6 science (chapter -8), mathematics (chapter – 1), etc. etc. The list of ‘Things-to-do’ is simply endless. Companies go on to set unusual targets to be accomplished within an extremely short period. Unnecessarily the employees get stressed up affecting their health and disturbing the balanced state of mind. The restrictors and the time-table makers are always heard saying – “This should be completed anyhow within this much of the time, or else….” They put up so many unrealistic time conventions that at the end of the day none of the works is completed on time and there is not even a single percent of perfection. They know all this but still they commence the next day with a host of calculations. How can someone do a work at the cost of completion and perfection? This does not stop here. Even if the previous task is incomplete, this species of ‘limiters’ never mind to jump on to the other things. In this way their day ends up with a pile of tasks or rather undone tasks to be completed some other day (and not the immediate day after itself because next day is reserved carefully for some other work). And when the ‘Grand Finale’ approaches near and near, the students get tensed up, employees get their boss’ scolding, companies lose profit and so called loyal customers, movies go flop on the box office, buildings experience seepage and leakage problems, photographers get to capture wardrobe malfunction, speeding cars break traffic rules, hasty airport authorities ease the drug import-export, and most importantly girls forget to carry a mirror in their purse! HUSH!

In today’s fast moving world such small things do happen (does this phrase resemble some other phrase? Never mind.) But at personal level these are and always prove to be the most crucial things. I agree when they say – Time and tide wait for none. So should I jump into the sea without taking my oxygen-mask/cylinder and a life jacket? I definitely do not mean to slow down the world by thinking, saying and writing all this. What I mean is – one should not complete a work on time at the cost of perfection or at least completion. It’s ok, just complete the work anyhow on time, it doesn’t matter at all. This easy going and chalta hai attitude is of no use. Imagine what could have happened if the airplane were manufactured in haste, without any testing, just to deliver them on time? Airplanes are meant for flying but in this case, well, anyone can guess what the situation would have been.

We need to focus on perfect completion. Setting up realistic conventions is the need of the hour. Man is the most intelligent creature on this planet. But he is being ceaselessly fooled by TIME. Slogging behind the time is dangerous. Just be with time. Understand its characteristic infinity. Appreciate its tremendous power. Learn and memorize its flexibility. And then only befriend it. Till today there have been very few people on this Earth who really did this and gave time the utmost importance in their lives. Only these were the people who achieved success in true and realistic terms.

An example of perfection would be this beautiful Earth created by GOD who himself is infinite. GOD did not just wake up early one fine day with a thought to create this universe full of stars and few planets.  He definitely did not setup timings to create the oceans, the mountains, the forests, the winds, and the rocks. But God, like his nature, took infinite time to create all this, the trees, the beautiful and colorful flowers, strong yet innocent animals, the pout lipped fishes, high soaring birds, the highly studied dinosaurs, the connecting link – archaeopteryx and the two biggest sinners – Adam and Eve. He immersed himself completely in this work, positioned every atom perfectly and is now sitting backstage to control and keep every thing in motion.

Time has long back merged with God giving him the unexplained infinity. His infinity stretches in both directions, gracing the golden years that have passed and the glorious years yet to come. What is left at the center for us is – TIME, which is simply unmanageable by all of us. Rise up. Analyze things. Plan and organize. Dedicate yourself completely to your work. Immerse yourself to such an extent that you start forgetting time. Take your work to the highest levels of excellence. Time will then start merging within you. It will help you attain the next level of excellence which is – PERFECTION. How happy and proud you will then feel for your work! Habits are seldom broken and hence once you get into this habit of achieving perfection, you are bound to taste great success in life. Therefore befriend TIME first and then you will find this TIME marching with you in your rhythm. No sooner does this happens than you will stop making those stupid time-tables and start enjoying your beautiful life. 

My Reason For Boom-de-ah-dah!

"I love my cycle

I love my dictionary

I love great people

I love watching Discovery

I love the whole world 

And sweet strawberry

Boom-de-ah-dah Boom-de-ah-dah

Boom-de-ah-dah Boom-de-ah-dah

I love computers

I love philosophy

I love sweet rasgullas

I love my aunt's coffee

I love the whole world

And the cakes so fluffy

Boom-de-ah-dah Boom-de-ah-dah

Boom-de-ah-dah Boom-de-ah-dah

I love spending on clothes

I love to always dance

I love travelling around

I love Italy and France

I love the whole world

Its such a brilliant place

Boom-de-ah-dah Boom-de-ah-dah

Boom-de-ah-dah Boom-de-ah-dah

Boom-de-ah-dah Boom-de-ah-dah

Boom-de-ah-dah Boom-de-ah-dah!"

Aviation

“Instead of our drab slogging forth and back to the fishing boats, there's a reason to life! We can lift ourselves out of ignorance, we can find ourselves as creatures of excellence and intelligence and skill. We can be free! We can learn to fly!”

— Richard Bach, 'Jonathan Livingston Seagull,' 1970.

In the book, voluntarily estranged Jonathan Livingston Seagull finds a reason for his life. Exploring the limitless boundaries of the sky, he sets an example for all the seagulls and leaves us astounded by his ideology of achieving the seemingly impossible heights. Greatly inspired by the same ideology, were some of the men and women of all the centuries who dared to think beyond the cordoned conventions. Had it not been for the very first sketches of flying machines by Leonardo da Vinci and for the invention of airplane by the Wright brothers, the human race would not have witnessed the present day high-tech aircrafts. Today’s Aviation Industry is a legacy of these great legends. 

My Sweet Blood

With an axe in hand I amputated my own limbs………….

Tore down my skin for those sudden whims……….

Also I went further to burn ma eyes……….

And choked my throat with bunch of coins……..

I plucked ma nails out long back……

I pulled ma hairs in anger n retract………

N pierced a nail through ma brain………..

And just njoyed tht xcruciating pain………..

I made a coffin full of sharp nails………

N d night I spent in coffin on the rails……….

Kept ma hand on wires open not insulated ……..

While floating on waters tht current over me dictated………

I scratched out ma lips………..

N bashed ma teeth with whip………

With d knife I cut ma tongue………

I did things but only vain sprung ……..

I cud still here d moaning violence………

So I ripped the ears to feel silence……..

In d end I juz jumped in the flood……….

And kept on sensing my sweet blood……..

Picking apart

Opinions differ and when they differ between the prejudiced, conflicts arise. This status quo is enough for the vitriolic pick apart to commence. Swami Vivekananda says that, we just take one good point from our entire life and start comparing it with all the dark ones in some other person. Does that give any sense of satisfaction? Will that really make that person evil and the comparer good? Isn’t that an infantile behavior? It is said that when you point a finger at others, four fingers point back at you. There are so many aphorisms, adages, maxims, thoughts, axioms and quotations, whatever you call, on this. And people are not unaware about them. The populace is very well aware of the good as well as the evil. But all the rules, the laws, the thoughts, etc only apply till it’s the question of others. As soon as it comes over them, they forget all the idealism that they have learnt since their childhood and the evil sooner takes control of them. Nothing other than this can turn a person into a detractor, an extremist and start criticizing others. In such status quo, they are in a state of oblivion, what is good, what is the meaning of patience, what is the spelling of wisdom and where is the age-old sensibility then….? The only question is about one’s ego, prestige and self-respect. When these feelings spring up, one is bound to get belligerent and descend to any limits to knock down others.

Someone has verily said that – Nothing is wrong in this world, our thinking makes it. How beautiful and true this aphorism is! According to me, I am right and my friend is wrong. Whatever I say is absolutely right and my so very extreme thoughts, inadvertently makes my beloved friend wrong. I am so full of my own thoughts that I don’t even have a tiny space for my friend’s opinion. Ditto is the state of affairs with my friend.  If a cup is full of tea, you just can’t pour more of tea in it. If you do it the cup will only overflow. And this is exactly what happens in an argument following thoughts conflicts. Neither of the sides is ready to listen to their counterparts. Consider a situation when a white stands on white space and black stands on black space, both are camouflaged. Only they know where they themselves stand. Others simply can’t see them as they are blinded by the perfect illusionary camouflage. But when white stands on black space and vise-a-versa, both are visible. Now consider a situation where white stands on the black space together with black. The white knows that he is on black but he thinks that he is alone. He simply can’t see black standing with him. Now the question which rises is that why the white can’t see black when they both are standing on same black surface?  The answer to this question can be understood by a new concept of individuality.

If I stand for some time on my friend’s place, there is no guarantee that I will completely understand my friend’s opinions and point of view, because we have our own individualities that make us different. And we should be grateful for this same but unique quality in us because what ever is there in and around us is all only due to the individuality. All our past experiences and different milieu, affect this quality. Turn around and you will find that this ‘world is just awesome’ … a million thanks to individuality. I suffice it to say that, individuality results from unique thoughts and opinions. So why pick apart others?

Moral – Respect other’s opinions. 

Boom-de-ah-dah

"I love the mountains

I love the clear blue skies
I love big bridges
I love when great whites fly
I love the whole world
And all its sights and sounds
Boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da
Boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da
I love the oceans
I love real dirty things [Mike Rowe]
I love to go fast
I love Egyptian kings
I love the whole world
And all its craziness
Boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da
Boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da [Richard Machowicz]
I love tornadoes
I love arachnids [Bear Grylls]
I love hot magma
I love the giant squids
I love the whole world
It's such a brilliant place
Boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da [Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage]
Boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da [Stephen Hawking]
Boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da
Boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da
Boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da"

Mistake

He knocked the door that day

And merrily I opened it

Asking me to come away, he handed over to me a chit

Written in it was a short dictum:

"Your time has come
You have to get ready
For yet another journey
A journey to the lands
Where everybody eventually goes
Last good-byes and shake-hands
To your friends and foes."

I starred at him reluctantly
Then turned my back and was left aghast
To watch myself breathe hardly
I understood that the day was last.

I saw myself struggling
So violently moving
My fingers were stiff and eyes turned red
As I jostled for my life on my death bed.

Down on the floor
Was empty venom bottle
God! I took the risk once more
Forgetting – I'm merely mortal!

And when I thought- I don't want to die
He pulled me hard and made me cry.
I shed tears and yelled and screamed
But no one came to rescue me.

I remembered my loved ones who cared for me

Clouds of sadness on raining spree
I broke all their promises
Like waves crushing in the sea.

And my soul started another journey
As I closed my eyes and on death bed I died
I still have a wish amongst the many:
I wish I had not committed suicide!

Losing Myself

This pain of separation
Leads to abjection
Space loaded with emotion
Thoughts intermingled with inner-vision
Slaughtering my dreams in depression
It's a soul burning situation
Like someone's death procession
Shadowing down the direction
With the desire of annihilation
I'm on my way to self-incineration!

No more sweet. I’m 17.

One year anew has passed,
Without any great achievements;
Mind is getting indolent;
But still towards knowledge it has allurement.

Completely in my own pace,
I'm loosing control over my mind.
No worries I win or loose the race;
Because my ideas are new of their own kind.

I'm losing time but not faith;
Mind you it's the aberration,
Receiving powers form the infinite
And seeking my life's mission.

Life So Invalid!

Walk away if you feel so,

Crazy heart makes you wanna go

Tie up your feelings

Burn up your memories

Trace back nothing

Because there is no one to read

There is no one to follow and remember.

Firm convictions you made

No longer exist

Your strong resolutions

Have been broken into pieces

Magic you used to spread

Has become invisible for all

Your journey ahead has begun

Lonely this time, no one to call

Forget all the things you did

Coz they are no longer valid

You wish to forget all your pain

And cut-off that part from your life, so insane

Everything you did

You wish you did perfectly

Dosen't matter, coz every thing you did

Was merely an illusion, truely!

And you didn't know the real

You never bothered to search for it

And when you bothered

There was no one to answer to it

Then you left the real path this way

Oh! What a pity situation

You trod ahead unknowingly

Blindly making plans and decisions

Wrong thoughts, wrong actions

And lots of frustrations

Always lagging behind in everything

You were killed by your own expressions!

………..

I saw a boy today a ragamuffin, in his torn, old, dirty, loose clothes which I think someone might have given to him with a merciful heart. Dusty brown as if never washed since months, loose and sandy white colored shirt, no slippers but bare foot on the burning road of tar, made him look like a mendicant. His pale eyes and gloomy look starred at some of the privileged boys of his age playing basket ball in their P.T. period on the playing field of my school. Standing unperturbed on the thorny steel fence, he watched them maneuver over the ground with the ball, enjoying the game. He might be thinking that if he too were there with the well groomed ones he would also have relished in the way they did. For a minute he was so deeply engrossed that he didn't even notice me passing by him, interpreting the notions of his mind, smiling at him. He was brought back into the world by the sound produced when I was trying to open the jammed lock (which is a result of rare lubrication) of my cycle. Anew in his own thoughts he moved in his slow pace taking glimpse of the boys. I felt……..

Search

On this path to tread ahead, 
On that lonesome street behind;

No rays striking me, even then,
Everything is shadowed in my mind.

I'm lost in the woods of life,
No one to explain the same directions,
My soul is longing for him,
Can a complete pure person I find?

With whose healing touch,
I get the powers to conquer-
The wildest of the thoughts,
And fears to high extent and very much.

He is cosmic for me who is ready to stride,
In the dark with me with pride
For him nothing is impossible
Can such a soul I find?

Oh dear!
I think I have found him.
He is nowhere but in my mind.
He is the DIVINE BEING.
He is ENTIRE and he is mine.

Tribute

And there he laid-

Unperturbed on the black bed;
In the midst of crawling animals
If it had been me or you....
A multitude may gather!
Now his mother is searching him everywhere;
Suffice it to say-
Social animal is the worst....
For no tribute to him they pay!

Inexplicable decline

When I find my space suffocating me, I turn my attention to that inner voice shouting and screaming trying to explain me that inconvenient truth. Things stretch randomly everywhere in all directions. My completely disturbed state of mind reaches the level where its energy tries to explode itself seeking a companion for that ‘DANCE OF DEATH’. It then heads towards that untrodden path, completely unaware of the apocalyptic future.

I slowly start withdrawing from the material world. I’m squeezed, reduced and tightly wrapped in that non-elastic metal for the milieu, which starts getting darker and denser until it no longer exist for me. I then enter the world of unexplained luminescence, where the mother of light is millions of light years away, where the atoms vibrate with an energy that nullifies my exploding energy calming me down as my soul is touched by the music which breezes through me like a manna from heaven. Nothing else can be as pleasant and as soothing as that piece of noise.

It slowly starts entering my capillaries in form of thousands of rivulets moving steadily and fusing later on to form a river inside my body causing me to lose my senses. I’m transformed into a huge ocean of ECSTASY with halcyon currents dwelling inside. And under the grey sky with golden streaks, in the increasing intensity of that noise I hear the compulsive voice of my nerves, which pushes me as I dive in that ocean. I experience the feeling I’ve never felt before, euphoria I’ve never sensed before, hallucinations I’ve never seen before and the orgasm I’ve never had before. Dizziness encroaches my brain and like an invisible suction pump it slowly absorbs my consciousness. Gravity pulls me deeper into the darkness and finally in my deepest sleep, my tranquil mind and serene body touch the ocean floor where I lie motionless for countless years to come.