Mode: Switch off.

I love going out alone, eating alone, sometimes talking to strangers or feeding the street dogs, watching kids play in the park and the elders do yoga in temple. Evenings are pretty. Much prettier are the mornings when I notice the nascent flowers, dewy leaves, gigantic trees and sometimes, if I'm lucky I get to spot pretty birds as well. I love the sounds squirrels make all through out the day as much as I am scared of the sounds which bats make at midnights. I like kites sitting high on some antenna. They look so majestic even from such distance. Those creatures! I love walking down the unknown streets staring at the pretty houses. I wish there were more cafés around which gave a comfortable feel of solitude, where you could cozy up in a sufficiently lit place for reading Leonard Cohen's poetry, order a cup a coffee and have a lovely sandwich. I love being just so slow with nothing significant running through my mind. There are streets I haven't yet walked. I feel like stepping out and exploring in every direction. I so love making mental notes of what is where. I love to guide people. I love to interact with kids playing on streets or just wave them with a smile. Sometimes while walking I just stop and stare for long at something which I haven't seen before. There's a lot to observe and take in. But surprisingly I don't do anything consciously. The walks and the observations are so luxuriously spaced with nothingness. I do not think actively. I call it 'the switched off mode', when I am so empty and that emptiness is comforting. I do not really know how I enter this mode. My generally troubled mind gets an off on such days. The world moves before my eyes. But I step aside to observe as if I have eternity to do that. Well the switched off state is eternity!

And oh! I love the rides too, in the car, or on the bike as a pillion rider. Back in university, I always had a strange feeling about the stillness of the nights there. I always said, a place should change face. It should not be so static. No wonder I love the motion of the place when I am in the car or on the bike. I always feel that it should last a longer. The cool air hitting on my skin and that feeling of temporary perpetual-ness! Haaaahhh! I love that! Much lovelier are my bike rides, when I just decide to go out with no specific destination in my mind. That perpetual motion is what I crave for! :'( That blankness, those trouble free experiences I miss. I never think so lightly about anything. The processor is off and I am just taking in through all my senses and letting those those inputs disappear in the maze of my mind. 

At such times, I don't feel vulnerable. I am not afraid that the dog will bite me or someone might think I am crazy to stop in the middle and stare above in the sky. I do not care if the other gender is noticing me. I am not protective of my belongings. I walk super leisurely at the crossings looking at the vehicles, with a strange awareness -- they know I am at peace.

Peaceful and detached.