Tuesday, April 8, 2014

From the diary of a sugar addict

Since past 3 weeks (approximately), I have been avoiding sweets, reason being, I am a sugar addict and I need to get rid of this potentially dangerous addiction. Initial few days of 'no sweet' were very difficult. The craving would increase with every passing minute. Head would start to spin, pulse rate would change, breathing would become heavy (slightly choked) and mind would lose focus from work. When I started  the 'no sweet' regime, I had substituted milk for sweets. Initially after every meal I had a habit of having something sweet. At my work place, they keep Bourbon. So I used to have it after my meal and whenever I craved. There was no limit to it. I would eat 3 or 4 at a time. And the pleasure it gave was intense! Sucrose - fructose and glucose together....Carbohydrates in bucket loads. O how I enjoyed those biscuits! The much needed sugar rush!
Milk when boiled turns slightly sweeter (lactose breaking down to glucose and galactose). So I substituted the frustose + glucose with glucose + galactose. But I wasn't happy since I was catering to my sugar needs. This in no way would help re-map my brain's pleasure pathways. Although I avoided fructose, I was talking in glucose. But I continued having milk whenever I craved since milk apart for having these simple carbohydrates, also contain proteins and minerals.
To say NO to sweets is a matter of will I thought. WILL. A resolution. It isn't that difficult. Last time, I remember, I had abstained from sweets for almost 6 months. I remember I did not have anything which even remotely tasted sweet, which meant, no Marie biscuits also or no chewda which had sweet ingredients. There's a story behind this herculean task. But that's out of context. Why I am here writing this is because, the 3 weeks of 'no sweet' regime got disrupted yesterday when one of my team mates got loads of sweets which I had  under limit and now has left me back to square one. Totally surprised I am by the time my brain took to relapse! It took few minutes!
I had no craving for sweets since past many days. I was totally oblivious of the feeling since, it did not arise at all. I could look at the rasmalai with indifference. I could stand beside the container containing Bourbon, smell the sweetness and not feel a thing inside my brain. No change in pulse rate. No change in breathing pattern. Nothing at all. All this was shattered yesterday when I allowed myself to 'think' of 'having some more and a little more' sweets. That was it. Now I am craving badly for sweets. I had 4 bourbon biscuits already since morning. I hate this feeling. It's worst feeling ever.

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