Mistake

He knocked the door that day

And merrily I opened it

Asking me to come away, he handed over to me a chit

Written in it was a short dictum:

"Your time has come
You have to get ready
For yet another journey
A journey to the lands
Where everybody eventually goes
Last good-byes and shake-hands
To your friends and foes."

I starred at him reluctantly
Then turned my back and was left aghast
To watch myself breathe hardly
I understood that the day was last.

I saw myself struggling
So violently moving
My fingers were stiff and eyes turned red
As I jostled for my life on my death bed.

Down on the floor
Was empty venom bottle
God! I took the risk once more
Forgetting – I'm merely mortal!

And when I thought- I don't want to die
He pulled me hard and made me cry.
I shed tears and yelled and screamed
But no one came to rescue me.

I remembered my loved ones who cared for me

Clouds of sadness on raining spree
I broke all their promises
Like waves crushing in the sea.

And my soul started another journey
As I closed my eyes and on death bed I died
I still have a wish amongst the many:
I wish I had not committed suicide!

Losing Myself

This pain of separation
Leads to abjection
Space loaded with emotion
Thoughts intermingled with inner-vision
Slaughtering my dreams in depression
It's a soul burning situation
Like someone's death procession
Shadowing down the direction
With the desire of annihilation
I'm on my way to self-incineration!

No more sweet. I’m 17.

One year anew has passed,
Without any great achievements;
Mind is getting indolent;
But still towards knowledge it has allurement.

Completely in my own pace,
I'm loosing control over my mind.
No worries I win or loose the race;
Because my ideas are new of their own kind.

I'm losing time but not faith;
Mind you it's the aberration,
Receiving powers form the infinite
And seeking my life's mission.

Life So Invalid!

Walk away if you feel so,

Crazy heart makes you wanna go

Tie up your feelings

Burn up your memories

Trace back nothing

Because there is no one to read

There is no one to follow and remember.

Firm convictions you made

No longer exist

Your strong resolutions

Have been broken into pieces

Magic you used to spread

Has become invisible for all

Your journey ahead has begun

Lonely this time, no one to call

Forget all the things you did

Coz they are no longer valid

You wish to forget all your pain

And cut-off that part from your life, so insane

Everything you did

You wish you did perfectly

Dosen't matter, coz every thing you did

Was merely an illusion, truely!

And you didn't know the real

You never bothered to search for it

And when you bothered

There was no one to answer to it

Then you left the real path this way

Oh! What a pity situation

You trod ahead unknowingly

Blindly making plans and decisions

Wrong thoughts, wrong actions

And lots of frustrations

Always lagging behind in everything

You were killed by your own expressions!

………..

I saw a boy today a ragamuffin, in his torn, old, dirty, loose clothes which I think someone might have given to him with a merciful heart. Dusty brown as if never washed since months, loose and sandy white colored shirt, no slippers but bare foot on the burning road of tar, made him look like a mendicant. His pale eyes and gloomy look starred at some of the privileged boys of his age playing basket ball in their P.T. period on the playing field of my school. Standing unperturbed on the thorny steel fence, he watched them maneuver over the ground with the ball, enjoying the game. He might be thinking that if he too were there with the well groomed ones he would also have relished in the way they did. For a minute he was so deeply engrossed that he didn't even notice me passing by him, interpreting the notions of his mind, smiling at him. He was brought back into the world by the sound produced when I was trying to open the jammed lock (which is a result of rare lubrication) of my cycle. Anew in his own thoughts he moved in his slow pace taking glimpse of the boys. I felt……..

Search

On this path to tread ahead, 
On that lonesome street behind;

No rays striking me, even then,
Everything is shadowed in my mind.

I'm lost in the woods of life,
No one to explain the same directions,
My soul is longing for him,
Can a complete pure person I find?

With whose healing touch,
I get the powers to conquer-
The wildest of the thoughts,
And fears to high extent and very much.

He is cosmic for me who is ready to stride,
In the dark with me with pride
For him nothing is impossible
Can such a soul I find?

Oh dear!
I think I have found him.
He is nowhere but in my mind.
He is the DIVINE BEING.
He is ENTIRE and he is mine.